Please leave this new family alone. They are begging you.

Please stop talking. Photo: Jennifer Sandlin

Recently, a friend shared a postcard he received in the mail, which was a photo of a serious-looking family with the caption “New Family in St. John’s PL.” The postcard continued to provide more information:

We are the new family (The Bansons) residing at 56322 St. Johns Pl. Thanks for having us here. We only ask one thing: please do not talk to us. We have nothing against any of you. We’re just in debt and don’t want you to talk to us. Don’t come near us. Don’t welcome us. Nothing is wrong with our family. We just want to be alone.

The back of the postcard reveals front and side views of the three family members, as well as their names, ages and hobbies: David, 43, car engines; Maris, 29, Shoe Collection; and Davis Jr., 12, of Toy Men.

I found the whole thing hilarious. As much as I felt like these new neighbors would be just the kind of people I’d want to be friends with, I realized the whole thing probably wasn’t real, so I dug around and discovered it was a piece of art by Alan Wagner, who describes himself as such. Patreon: “I’m Alan, I make comedy, I make videos, I make stuff.” The postcard was our August 2023 Patreon a surpriseTitled “Don’t Talk to Us, My Family.”

If you’re a fan of weird comedies, with a kind of Tim Robinson vibe, you’ll probably like Alan Wagner’s work. You can see some of his work on X, Instagram And YoutubeBut if you want more, you can join it Patreon. The lowest level is only $3.00 and includes the following:

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On his patreon video He explains that 10% of his monthly profits go to NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.