1. 49ers (5-0, last week No. 1): The 49ers will be a dominant team in a lot of boring games this year. But not boring for their fans.
2. Eagles (5-0, No. 2): They’ve had a pretty easy start to the season, even if they’re trying to make it harder.
3. Chiefs (4-1, No. 3): If Taylor Swift doesn’t attend a Chiefs win, will she make a vote?
4. Dolphins (4-1, No. 6): They’ll have to keep up the offense without Devon Achanie.
5. Lions (4-1, No. 8): They know how to win games they should be winning, which is one of the key ingredients to being great.
6. Seahawks (3-1, No. 7): The bye came at a good time, but now they have 13 straight weeks with more than a few big games.
7. Jaguars (3-2, No. 13): 0-2 in Jacksonville. 2-0 in London. I’m just saying.
8. Bills (3-2, No. 5): The Jenga Tower is starting to wobble again.
9. Cowboys (3-2, No. 4): Misguided pursuit of com. gloryhole continuous.
10. Buccaneers (3-1, No. 10): Beat the Lions, and the Bucs will be taken seriously.
11. Steelers (3-2, No. 15): It’s easy to criticize. It’s hard to win. The Steelers have somehow won three games.
12. Colts (3-2, No. 16): Gardner Minshew can lay the foundation to finally start elsewhere.
13. Ravens (3-2, No. 9): If you felt like the Ravens were trying to lose to the Steelers. And the Ravens are still close to winning.
14. Chargers (2-2, No. 14): Can they kick the Cowboys when they’re down?
15. Falcons (3-2, No. 19): Desmond delivered Reeder, while Taylor Heinicke’s calls were getting very loud.
16. Saints (3-2, No. 22): The Saints will be the answer to the ultimate trivia question in New England — who delivered the knockout blow to Bill Belichick’s Patriots?
17. Brown (2-2, No. 17): They’ll need more than a week off to be ready for the 49ers.
18. Texas (2-3, No. 11): Two impressive wins were undone in one fell swoop.
19. Rams (2-3, No. 12): They will be up and down all year.
20. Giants (2-3, No. 21): They’ll be up and down all year.
21. Jets (2-3, No. 23): When they were as low as they could be, they were at the top.
22. Bengals (2-3, No. 24): Are they back? Get back to us if they beat the Seahawks.
23. Raiders (2-3, No. 30): Jimmy G is a “winner” — as long as he has enough other guys to bail him out.
24. Packers (2-2, No. 18): Five picks in two primetime games won’t leave people feeling strongly positive feelings about Jordan.
25. Leaders (2-3, No. 20): Suddenly the always-smiling Magic Johnson was gone.
26. Bears (1-4, No. 32): Can they string together two wins?
27. Vikings (1-4, No. 25): The Vikings are about to taste a possible future without Justin Jefferson.
28. Cardinals (1-4, No. 26): They will always get this win over the Cowboys.
29. Giants (1-4, No. 28): It’s as if 2022 never happened.
30. Broncos (1-4, No. 29): Russell Wilson’s second year in Denver is starting to look like his final year.
31. Panthers (0-5, No. 31): David Tepper may have failed the S2 test when it comes to draft stock status in the S2 test.
32. Patriots (1-4, No. 27): Knives is aimed at a chronic curmudgeon who can’t work his way out of a growing list of mistakes.
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