Stephen Colbert Lives On Late Show With Election Results – Deadline

Stephen Colbert go live with Late Show On Tuesday to report on the election, take a few swipes at Governor Ron DeSantis and show off some predictive chickens from the Mid-Term Show Cooperative.

Beginning at 11:35 p.m. ET (although New Yorkers didn’t join until several minutes later due to Governor Cathy Hochhol’s acceptance speech), Colbert touched on all the major races, including the high-profile Senate race in Georgia. “It is very narrow. This race can be determined by a margin of error of plus or minus the secret children of Herschel Walker.”

Then he gave the hat to victor Chuck Schumer. “In shock, the Senate race for Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has been called up. In deference to his opponent’s political demise, Schumer will wear his glasses at half-mast.”

Here is a sample of Colbert’s other quotes from his opening monologue:

“Democrat Charlie Crist was defeated by MAGA wannabe and 2024 hopeful Ron DeSantis. Now under Florida law, Charlie Crist will be forced to board a plane and fly to Martha’s Vineyard.”

“Republican Marco Rubio appears to have defeated rising Democratic star Val Demings. Demings was on the shortlist to be Joe Biden’s deputy while Rubio is on the shortlist for being short.”

“The Vermont Senate race is over, and Democrat Peter Welch won at age 75. Welch is the oldest person elected to a first term in the United States Senate. However, at the age of seventy-five, he will also be one of the youngest senators.”

“In Indiana, incumbent Republican Senator Todd Young won re-election without the approval of the 45th president, making him one of the most successful Republicans with no support from the former president. The least successful? Eric.”

If the Democrats lose the house, Nancy Pelosi will be replaced by Kevin McCarthy, the man who appeared on tape after Jan. 6, calling for the former president to be removed from office. But instead, three weeks later, he removed his balls himself and handed them to Mar-a-Lago “.

If McCarthy is elected president, one of the first things on his party’s agenda is revenge against the January 6 committee. They plan to summon members of the Select Committee, in particular Liz Cheney. Hey GOP, I know you feel confident, but are you sure you want to mess with Cheney? If you mess with Liz, you can wake Dick. Remember the gun to the face? This is how he treats his friends. He slept for a long time, ah, how hungry. You won’t hear him coming because his heart isn’t beating.”

Then the chicken came.